had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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