You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
