I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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