D3 body, D1 cock
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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