So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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