Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
