my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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