I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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