Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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