I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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