She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
