I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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