Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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