dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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