it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
