I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
