Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
