she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
