Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
