Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
