wakey wakey hands off snakey
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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