So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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