I wish I could punch you in the face.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize