god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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