He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
