That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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