Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
