I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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