After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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