We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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