i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
