I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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