So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
