It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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