The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think I just sharted jello shots
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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