I need help removing her.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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