I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
