its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize