How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize