508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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