Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i think my cat just said my name.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
