You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
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I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize