I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
