i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
