i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We just shotgunned beers for America
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
