If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Green mimosas i think yes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
