He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
