3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
