i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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