you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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