I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't deserve a penis
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
send nudes
from the living room?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
