White coat. Heels.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
