you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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