you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize