what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
