just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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