if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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