How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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