dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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