Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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