There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
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chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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