Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
