so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
