I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
